Jesus seemed to tell me that: I appreciate the way you, My dear, work so, so hard, at whatever you think will make you more holy. I will help you on this, but you mustn’t think it is all a matter of effort vs. bringing Me your whole self, body, mind, heart, soul, moment by moment.
A counselor suggested that the wounded child, me, gets furious if others will not let me be the one in control. I felt helpless as a child.
Miscellaneous insights of this same counselor:
Buddhist saying: when you make peace with your mother and father you make peace with the world.
In the US a mountain climber only feels successful if he/she has reached the top. But Japanese deliberately stop short of the top to take time out to praise the mountain.
Confusion is the beginning of knowledge. If you are not confused, you can just think you have everything right in your own head when you don’t.
It is easier to say I am right and you are wrong than to look for reconciliation.