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Jail of Joy

9/3/2015

Joy, joy, joy, amazing grace!

Years ago I went two times to a prison in Corpus Christi, Texas to do the gist of my book: Taming the Lion Within: 5 Steps from Anger to Peace. I loved it and wished I could do it again in some other city, but the fuss with getting permissions for people to enter the prison is such that no one took me up on the offer again. Now I will be going 660 times because a prison minister in California, who is an M.A. student at Holy Apostles on-line, is paying the postage to get 660 nearly out of print books of mine to give out free.

I have this booklet called the Spiritual Marathon (Now part of my Way of Love – just $10 for 4 little volumes in 1, or cheaper even on Kindle) challenging the reader to go through each day checking out loving and unloving attitudes, words, deeds, etc. For a long time I have been thinking that my examples are rather feminine and that I wished someone did this same series of exercises from a masculine perspective.

A parish sponsoring a talk of mine based on Way of Love in Mahwah, N.J. asked me to announce it in case any of your live in N.J. It will be the evening of Sept. 30th at Immaculate Conception Church.

Random query: I wonder if any of you readers have the same huge desire always to be able to picture your family and other loved ones where they reside if they moved. Because of this desire, I have been saving my money to have members of my family visit me from afar who have never seen Holy Apostles in Connecticut where I live and work.
Here is an explanation I came up with.

My brother-in-law, Arthur Eaton, was a psychologist. He once told me about a personality typology about which of the 5 senses each of us is geared to as a sort of paradigm as in:

A Hearing Type : always is saying “I hear you,” vs. I understand you.

A Touching Type : always is saying “I feel….”

Taste: “I want to eat you up sweetie.”

Smell: “What you said stinks!” or “your ideas have the fragrance of hope.”

Mine is Sight: I am always saying “I see what you mean.”

For what it’s worth!

I just read a book that is like that by a new colleague of mine here at Holy Apostles. Here is the review I wrote about it:

That Flame in your Heart? Turn it into a Blowtorch is a book you will not forget. It could have been sub-titled "From Despair to Radiant Hope. David Leis' story of how Jesus intervened in his life to save him from intolerable crosses is compelling. Especially good is how each chapter shows you how you, the reader, can tap into the same source of grace and hope.

God Alone continued:

August 9, 2008
Envy
Holy Spirit:

A toxic form of wounded pride is envy. It gnaws away at the fabric of family, the work place and Church.
Do you see how it dominates from the start? Satan envies God and influences Adam and Eve to wish to become godlike through rebellion. Cain envies Abel. Later the brothers of Joseph sell him into slavery because of envy. Saul betrays David out of envy all the way to most of the leaders in Jesus’ time envying His authority and miracles. How much violence is rooted in envy!

Watch closely for forms of envy in your dealings with others. The plain woman envies one more beautiful. The uneducated person envies the scholar.
Others envy wealth and status. More subtle forms can be boasting in the desire to provoke envy in others. Rage can come from impotent envy of those in power who ignore ones wishes or claims.

Each of you in your hearts must come to grips with your differences. You are to glimpse interiorly in prayer the providential love that is part of your circumstances. You have legitimate desires for bettering your life in small and big ways. If these spring from envy, it shows you are basically angry with God about your life. Instead such desires for improving your lives should be a seeking for greater fullness. Such hopes not for the downfall of others but for the same fullness in their lives.
There can be no place for envy if your motto is truly “God Alone is Enough!”
Will you let Us show you that We are enough?

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Fall Start

8/28/2015

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My Fall semester has begun. It is so thrilling to see the eager faces of the new seminarians, young and older! “The gates of hell will not prevail.”

I'm pleased to announce the recent publication by En Route Books & Media of a book entitled Spirituality for All Times by your very own Dr. Ronda Chervin, professor emerita of philosophy, and one of my M.A. students, Kathleen Brouillette.

Amazon has described it as follows:

"Spirituality for All Times is offered in the hope that it will inspire those who seek a deeper union with God. The authors have chosen to offer short selections to enable the reader to wade in from the shallow end of the pool, so to speak, until they are comfortable enough to take their feet off the bottom and swim toward the deeper end - someday reading whole books by the same writers. A brief review of the table of contents will convey to the reader a specific concept underlying Catholic spirituality: one size doesn't fit all!"

From God Alone:

August 8, 2008

The Light of Truth
Holy Spirit:
Our gifts to you include absolute truths shining in the darkness for all and also words for the heart of each person.

Some of you dislike the reality of universal truth which stands so strongly against the desire for individual autonomy. For example, a rebel rejects the “shalt” of the ten commandments: “Why not steal when I want something I can’t otherwise have?” “Why should God be 3 persons instead of 4?”

Others suspect even more than universal truths any personal truth given in prayer whether by directives or by signs. There is a correct wariness about being deceived by the devil or only ones own foolish wishes, such as wanting to sit at the right hand of God without first carrying the cross. But such wariness can close the doors to any heart to heart communication.

Is the choice then between hard cold absolutes and sentimental fantasies? “Blessed be the pure of heart for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8) Jesus taught that deep truth comes to those with sincerity of purpose. The pure of heart treasure the light of truth revealed through writings or spoken teachings. They receive an individual word with “fear and trembling” and grateful humility: “Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to Thy word.”

To protect our children from the darkness of error We provide the unchanging teachings of the Church and the guidance of the spiritually wise. When doubt and fear assail your poor little souls, hold fast to your Savior; the light shining in the darkness, who proclaims “the truth shall set you free.” (John 8:32)

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Words of the Wordless

8/13/2015

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August 5, 2008
Wordless Presence of God
Holy Spirit:
Sometimes you can figure things out; sometimes you can’t. You like to figure things out because you imagine that if you understand you will be able to control things for the best. We like to see you exercise this God’s given power of intellect. It is Our gift.

How, then, can you accept it when you try to use the gift but no answer comes? That’s when We want you to be like a child who can walk in the dark with a parent, hand in hand.

Sometimes, like Peter, you swear your allegiance to follow Us even unto death, but when the test comes your survival instinct pushes you to flee. We understand. We forgive. That you might be surer that you are forgiven, We give our priests the power to say the words of absolution for Us.

After your words and deeds of penance, We want you to feel a wordless peace, like a child who was lost but then knows safety in the embrace of the parent.

August 6, 2008
Gusts of Grace
Holy Spirit:
Just when you think that what you have done is enough, perhaps even more than enough, We send you a new gust of grace to do something more:

- to help a needy person
- to start a new venture
- to devise a new method of presentation

At first you resist. Part of you wants not the new but rest from change. We understand. We don’t prod you because your previous efforts are inadequate, but because the world is so hungry.

Let Us work with you on these efforts so that your feeling is not pressure so much as wind in your sails. “When I am weak, I am strong.”(2 Corinthians 12:10)

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God Alone Continued

8/12/2015

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August 3, 2008
Weakness
Holy Spirit:
You honor weakness with your lips but not always with your heart. How is that? You understand from years of reading the New Testament that Jesus came to overcome the worldly sense of strength as coming from power. Instead He exalted the lowly, the meek. He responded with compassion and mercy to the humble and poor.

On the other hand, in your own weakness you want to lean on those who seem stronger than yourself’; stronger, for example, in intelligence or health, in accomplishments or in virtue. If you look at the saints, starting with Mary, what do you see? Not usually worldly strength but the power of love.

As Christians you are to excel in compassionate love expressed in helping others in their needs. It is right to admire others for the strength of their virtues, and you can look up to them, but you need to lean more on the strength of God than on the strength of any human persons. When you do this you will be able to draw close to the weak that We send you. Instead of being afraid of their neediness you will be able to prudently give as we show you what will help them.

August 4, 2008
Leadership

(The context is that more widows are interested in my group Dedicated Widows of the Holy Family and I was having doubts I could lead them.)

Holy Spirit:
You are afraid to lead because you think that followers will be as critical of you as you have been of past leaders you have followed.

Peter Denies

We want leaders who are well acquainted with their own flaws. Remember St. Peter so publicly weak in denying his Master? Do you see how his knowledge of his own betrayals made it possible to listen to Me in a dream about the food issues or to Me through Paul about circumcision and the Gentile converts?

Peter dreams

Beware of leaders who hate “suggestions boxes.” If you are called into any leadership role, make yourself so humble and so eager to improve that the others will not be afraid to help you with suggestions. Disarm them with your humility. Always be eager to come to Us to listen. If your enterprises are a response to Our promptings, you will not need to think of yourself as defending your own ideas. Not that you should try to assume infallibility claiming your decisions are influenced by Us. No! You can still make mistakes because the light of Our will is filtered through your dirty windows.

Moses appoints Joshua

We will use all your negative experiences of the past to help you avoid not only false moves but also false postures. When you think of leaders you have known in the past with clay feet, think not just of the clay but also of all the good for you We brought out of their initiatives.

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More from God Alone

8/12/2015

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Mt. Sinai, Elijah's cave

August 1, 2008
Higher and Deeper
Holy Spirit:
When We try to bring you up the mountain to a greater height, a wider view, you can feel overwhelmed. In one way it is joy to be above the usual realm of earthly concerns.

In another way, you can panic when you don’t see the place for your feet to land. Suspension in the clouds is foreign to your bodily nature.

An antidote to dizziness can be to feel your way deep into your roots. Your ultimate root, of course, is not a blood line only, but your source in the creating mind of the Father.

As a sign I sometimes give the gift of tongues that you may speak an unknown language with primal sounds of roots deeper than our conscious mind.
In some hispanic paintings God the Father in the image of an old regal man is depicted hovering behind Jesus, sustaining Him in an embrace, as Jesus is elevated on the Cross.
Will you let the Father sustain you, also, from above and below?
“With groanings too deep for words.” (Romans 8:23)

August 2, 2008
The Answer
Holy Spirit:

You seek a single truth you could carry in to every circumstance of life. It would be like a pass key that opens every door. With this answer you would never again be perplexed and uncertain. It would end all doubt, shut the mouths of all scoffers. With this truth you could be strong instead of weak; luminous instead of murky – divine?

A single word can sometimes be a life-line, such as “light” or a battle cry such as justice. We see this longing for such a truth as your attempt to leap into eternity where “all will be one.” You could also see this desire as a sign that you are coming closer to the kingdom of God where partial insights will merge into a unified vision. Each “answer” you find can be a path to God.

It can take you so far, but not through the gate back to Paradise guarded by angels with flaming swords. (Genesis 3:24)

Sometimes you can only find the next path for your journey by becoming not more powerful to be able to destroy barriers, but smaller so you can sneak under them.

Even as you are to avoid pride in your quest for the answer, it is better to push forward toward divine truth than to cling to inadequate formulas for coping in the world. Close your eyes and beg for the answer you need to take the next step forward.

(When I tried this what I got was something like “Openness; await the dawn vs. locked in by fear or closed into my own plans.”)

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Saint Nuno of Saint Mary

8/5/2015

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As I have often told my readers, I love to read about Catholic heroes or saints that have escaped my previous notice. Here is a fantastic one I had never heard of.

Born : June 24, 1360
Cernache do Bonjardim, Portugal
Died: April 1, 1431 (aged 70)
Convent of the Carmelites, Portugal
Beatified: January 23, 1918, Vatican City by Pope Benedict XV
Canonized: April 26, 2009, Saint Peter's Square, Vatican City by Pope Benedict XVI

Nun'Álvares Pereira coat of arms

Nuno Álvares Pereira was born on June 24, 1360, in central Portugal, the illegitimate son of Dom Álvaro Gonçalves Pereira, He was descended from the oldest Portuguese and Galician nobility. About a year after his birth, the child was legitimized by royal decree and so was able to receive a knightly education typical of the offspring of the noble families of the time. At 13 years of age he became page to Queen Leonor.[1] At age 16, he married Leonor de Alvim… Three children were born to the union, two boys who died early in life, and a girl, Beatrice.
Nuno began military service in 1373, when he was only 13, and helped stop an invasion from Castile. However, according to his own words, his first military campaigns were no more than skirmishes on the borders of Portugal. He was an impetuous and brave young man who soon showed himself to be an excellent leader.

Note from Ronda:
Even in the midst of battle he would stop and pray when others were ready to flee in fear. He finally defeated the Spanish and won the independence of Portugal. Receiving many lands and great wealth from the new King of Portugal he immediately gave away most of these lands and moneys either to his soldiers as rewards or to the poor who farmed those lands.

The Battle of Aljubarrota

On August 14, 1385, at Aljubarrota he led 6,500 volunteers to victory against a Castilian force of over 30,000, thus ending the threat of annexation. He attributed the victory to the Blessed Virgin, whose name, Maria, was inscribed on his sword.[3] Dedicated to Mary, he fasted on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. The banner he chose as his personal standard bore the image of the cross, of Mary and of the saintly knights James and George. At his own expense he built numerous churches and monasteries, among which was the Carmelite church in Lisbon and the church of Our Lady of Victories at Batalha.[2]

After the death of his wife, he became a Carmelite friar (he joined the Order in 1423) at the Carmo Convent (Lisbon) which he had founded in fulfilment of a vow, and took the name of Friar Nuno of Saint Mary (Portuguese: Frei Nuno de Santa Maria).

Note from Ronda:
There he insisted on living as a poor lay brother, but with his armor under his worn out Carmelite habit because the Castilian armies would have re-taken Portugal if they didn’t know that he would leave for battle at any time if so called by the King. So revered was he for his miraculous victories in former battles that many he won without any battle at all since if the enemy knew he was there they retreated.

The biography I read by John Haffert famed for his many books about Mary, especially about Fatima, is called The Peacemaker Who Went to War. Among the many things I found delightful in reading this small lively account is how this man eventually a Carmelite brother, even as a soldier demonstrated holiness. For example he would help any enemies his soldiers captured by restoring their property! I loved reading about his giving away his own lands to the farmers when he left for the monastery. Would Communism take over so many places if many of the noble and rich has been as generous as St. Nuno?

One of my on-line students studying the Nature of Love wrote these inspiring and insightful lines in a paper:
Rightly Attuned Attitudes
by
Adrian Kikuo Britton

Attitudes are not contingent upon feelings or circumstance, and can indeed even surpass feelings and circumstances which outwardly appear to justify a less loving and prayerful approach to life and our interactions with others.
Attitudinal attunement and awareness of opportunities to lovingly serve those around us is the basic prayer underlying “Make me a Channel of Thy Peace.”
We can neither welcome someone with open arms nor extend our hands to assist others in their need if our hands are preoccupied. Is it any wonder then that we fail to cooperate with the Lord’s will (“Which is Love and Mercy, Itself”) when the ‘hands’ of our soul hold on tightly to resentments and refuse to “let go” of anger?
GOD can only fill and transform the earthen vessels which we offer up to Him. How can new wine flow from living water outpoured if our vessels are full of “stuff” we refuse to open up and empty out? He wants to fill us up to overflowing, let’s cooperate.

In Recovery spirituality (12 Step) many times when people respond “No, I am Fine” they are really isolating themselves from others due to “Freaking out, Insecure, Neurotic and (uncontrolled) Emotional” attitudes. Other times, we have shut ourselves “off” in some pseudo-stoic belief in self-sufficiency, or numb ourselves to avoid feeling anything at all.
None of this is the Abundant Peace that flows from GOD’s Loving and Active Shalom. GOD’s Holy Spirit, Comforter, allows us the freedom to trust, to step out of our comfort zones which isolate us into a broader landscape of healthy vibrancy.

Resignation/Rage versus Surrender/Serenity

Rather than confine ourselves in self-made barriers, we discover the ability to live abundantly and share that abundance with others. This means we are more active in the world around us, which means a greater expenditure of energy but I know from personal experience that there is far more joy in a day where I surrender my own desire for self-sufficiency to share life with others. This is not laissez faire resignation, but the serene surrender of active cooperation.

Understanding motives and motivations

The pithy wisdom chalked upon the board of the local coffee shop says “Everyone you encounter is fighting a battle you cannot see so be kind always”.
Meanwhile, the basic wound that each of us suffers is the inability to see just how Beloved we are in the eyes of our Maker.

Accusations and Excuses versus Wishing the Good and Forgiveness

Neither accusations nor excuses emanate from a heart converted to prayerful compassion. Is it any wonder that “Satan” in Hebrew means “The Accuser”? The Christian life is not one of accusation, nor one of justifying behaviors that are clearly wrong by making excuses for the perpetrator.
However rightly judging a situation does not mean that there is a spirit of
condemnation. If we truly seek the good in others, aware that we ourselves are also works in progress, then we give the dignity of communicating clearly our thoughts and needs, and the dignity of clarifying should we have misperceptions of others’ intent.
Still, this takes as a foundational principle that others will likewise respond in sincerity and this is not always the case, yet Recovery spirituality reminds us that the only thing we are able to do is “keep our side of the street clean”….

I also read a book about an end of 19th century young woman mystic of the time of Little Therese and Elizabeth of the Trinity. She was called Consummata (Marie-Antoinettte de Geuser). Her letters and journals were translated into many languages. You might look her up or read a Barnes and Nobles copy of the book of her letters.
It made me think of other such woman mystics that I have loved such as Catherine Emmerich, Blessed Maria Agreda, Marthe Robin, and Gabrielle Bossis. It seems that the Lord wants to supplement reading of Scripture and writings of male doctors of the Church and even writings of canonized women doctors of the Church, with other mystical very feminine writings. Of course I don’t mean to say that every woman mystic is to be trusted. Always we have to make sure nothing written as coming from Christ is contrary to Catholic teaching.
As well, simply, some writings appeal to some of us and not to others of us and we mustn’t nag others to read what does not attract them just because we get so much from such mystical sharings.

Catherine Emmerich

Blessed Maria Agreda

Marthe Robin

Gabrielle Bossis.

Aging issues:
I had a little wake up call realizing in the middle of the night that one of my carefully worked out syllabi was missing 2 mandatory pages of obligatory warnings about plagiarism, that have to be there. I just forgot to print out those out! It made me realize, that at my age, 78, I should be happy if I can just still do the obligatory, not be wishing for exciting improvements!!!!!!

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Ab ASCH

8/1/2015

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Most of the readers of this blog will not be familiar with the best-selling Jewish writer, Sholem Asch. He was a best-selling Polish writer, who moved to France, the U.S. and finally Israel, whose books have been translated into many languages.

The most famous have an unusual motive. Horrified by the hate between Jews and Catholics in the old country and elsewhere, he decided to write novels about Jesus, St. Paul and Mary with all the Jewish background he understood, so that each religion would understand the other better.
These books, The Nazarene, The Apostle, and Mary became best-sellers mostly among Christians, but not among Catholics because he has Mary as mother of other children besides Jesus! However, they are special favorites of Jews who became Catholic because of the portrayal of Jesus that is such a bridge between Jewish sensibilities and Catholic ones.

They were part of my conversion from an atheist but Jewish background and also the conversion of my husband from an orthodox Jewish background.
I read them again every few years. The vision of Jesus in these books is of an emotional force that I have never found in any Catholic books about Jesus to the same extent.
If you can swallow his mistakes about Mary you might enjoy reading them. They are cheap used on Barnes and Nobles.

Here at Holy Apostles we have a brother in the order that founded our seminary, the Missionaries of the Holy Apostles who is a late vocation. He was a Wyoming cowboy who made it up the ladder to become a BP CEO, married with 5 children, but with an annulment, who later in life felt the call to become a priest. His deacon ordination is very soon.

I see him every day at Mass and feel the great joy in his heart that loving Jesus with such passionate love he will soon be His priest. Pray for Brother Glenn.

Soon I will be leaving my desk at Holy Apostles for a week with my daughter, Carla, and family in North Carolina. For those of you praying for her, she is in remission from T-cell cancer (but that is sneaky and can recur) but still in lots of pain however she does feel better and looks better. You have read some of her beautiful poems on this web.

More God Alone
For more about the nature of such messages from God see this blog 12/18/14 when I started putting up segments.

July 31, 2008
More Love
Holy Spirit:

There can never be too much love in the way you handle every encounter.
We are helping you to make being loving your highest goal in your thoughts, words and actions.

Can you now see more clearly how specific this challenge is?
How an unexpected sharp tone in your voice or in that of one who is speaking to you can hurt?

How, on the other hand, a sudden strong expression of esteem or concern will melt a hardened heart?
May this not be a passing phase but an earnest endeavor, to which you are committed.

Have you also begun to sense the greater attention to words of your liturgical prayers to change them from a good dutiful chanting to a cry of love? Of course it is hard for you to understand the paradox of Our absolute Trinitarian transcendence and the need for love expressed, as has been discerned, in Jesus’ cry: “I thirst,” or in the commandment to love your God with your whole heart, mind and strength.

We help you with analogies: is it weakness if parents cherish the love their children show them? Is it not rather bonding? Don’t be discouraged if your progress is slow. Learn from each set back. Remember, you are not alone. We are working in you.

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Finishing Finals

7/22/2015

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For more about the nature of such messages from God see this blog 12/18/14 when I started putting up segments.

July 30, 2008
“Finishing School”
Holy Spirit:

In your culture in the past awkward and sometimes wild girls used to be sent to a finishing school to be trained in proper deportment. They would graduate ready to come out in society as proper and elegant young ladies.

By analogy We try to train up immature and sometimes sinful followers to come out into the world as true soldiers of Christ. What we wish for, however, is not outward show but true conversion of heart from self-centered ways to the way of love.

As your “final examination” in your “God Alone” training we present you with this test:
For a whole week be so close to Us through prayer and intention so that your words and gestures will reflect love.
Don’t be afraid this would destroy your free personality and make you a mere puppet. That is not what We want at all. No. If you give yourself to Us in this way We will use all your natural gifts and God-created individuality in an even stronger way. Our grace will make a tentative melody into a symphony. Courage!

“Not I, but Christ lives in me.”

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freshening foretastes

7/21/2015

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July 29, 2008
Freshness
Holy Spirit:
Bombardments of the consequences of sin can make you feel trapped and constrained. Even when there is nothing immediately dangerous to you in your environment, there can be a staleness from repeated unwholesome patterns.

Reach in and reach up to find cool freshness. “In” is the place within where We dwell, a pure stream of grace. ”Up” is from your crouched position of fear to lift your arms and hands to greet the good, small and big that We are sending you each day as fresh air.

Can you interrupt the stale round of your worries and unhealed memories to let in the new? Are you so afraid that, if life isn’t heaven it is really hell, that you are not savoring the foretastes of heaven, Our gifts for you each day?

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Jail of Joy

Fall Start

suggested Reading

Words of the Wordless

God Alone Continued

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Saint Nuno of Saint Mary

Ab ASCH

Finishing Finals

freshening foretastes

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