Before coming to live with my granddaughter’s family I had all these thoughts about how it would be with my great granddaughter, Teresa,
age 3 ½. To my surprise, the thing she likes best about me is not my smile,
or my hair, but my dentures!
Happening to have followed me into the bathroom where I brush the top dentures and the 6 bottom teeth still left after every meal, she was fascinated by the dentures!
So, now, as soon as she sees the later piece of food on my plate at meals going into my mouth, she pops up with: “Now you are going downstairs to brush your teeth?”
age 3 ½. To my surprise, the thing she likes best about me is not my smile,
or my hair, but my dentures!
Happening to have followed me into the bathroom where I brush the top dentures and the 6 bottom teeth still left after every meal, she was fascinated by the dentures!
So, now, as soon as she sees the later piece of food on my plate at meals going into my mouth, she pops up with: “Now you are going downstairs to brush your teeth?”
If you read the following you may think “This is so incomplete! Why didn’t you, Ronda, write more about “x”, “y” or “z.” It was written with a specific plan in mind to try to reach this individual woman.
This friend was writing about her abortion years ago which she justified because of the circumstances but also because she doesn’t think the baby in the womb is a human person, etc. etc. etc.
Since she is not philosophically inclined, I thought of writing her back in a different vein. It would be helpful in some way to one of you readers even though just a particular slant.
Dear______________________,
Instead of writing some strictly logical answer to what you wrote, I want to respond in a different, more literary way.
In healing of memories exercises people write letters to those who died and then write hypothetical letters written back from the person gone from this earth. For example, I once wrote to my father about how my life was wounded by his leaving us when we were 8 years old and then had him write back describing what his life with my mother was like and how he hated leaving us children but felt he had to leave her.
It helps with forgiveness.
So, here I will pretend I am you doing a healing of memories with the baby you aborted:
Baby now grown up in eternity: My mother, I wanted to be your baby and live on earth with you. Why did you abort me, instead?
(My friend’s hypothetical answer): You would have to understand where I was in my life. At that time sex between teen boys and girls on dates was very common, expected actually.
Baby: Didn’t you know that sex often leads to babies? Didn’t you learn that in High School biology?
(Friend) Of course, but just the same when we were drinking or doing drugs on dates that wasn’t on our minds. Since this is so common, that’s why I think education in contraception is so needed for young people.
Baby: According to some medical experts, contraceptives flush out already formed embryos if they don’t succeed first in keeping the sperm and egg separate.
(Friend) : I don’t believe that is true, but even if it is, I thought then, and think now that babies should be born to women who are eager to have them.
Baby: If your mother had been less than eager to have you, would you have rather not been born?
(Friend): I don’t know. I just know that I wasn’t ready and I am glad of many things I did since then I couldn’t have done if I had delivered you and taken care of you instead.
Baby: You never thought about adoption?
(Friend): I love babies. I couldn’t have seen you and given you away.
Baby: I forgive you because I understand better and the God I know here in heaven is a God of mercy. I look forward to someday seeing you here with me.
Then, I add this:
2018 Possible scenario:
We live in a loosely knit Christian community. Our teens meet at parties chaperoned by adults. They dance, and have fun, and flirt a little but they are never allowed to be alone together in places where sexual intercourse is possible. Males are taught that they need to control their strong sex drives and wait for marriage. Marriages are much earlier, with the young couples living with their parents while continuing schooling and working part-time. The babies that come are nurtured by the entire extended family and the community. The children, of usually many children families, learn to help with babies at an early age.
Or, if they don’t want to be married until later they offer the sacrifice of not having sex until they are ready for marriage. God’s grace help them with this struggle.
If a young woman becomes pregnant before marriage but doesn’t feel ready for motherhood, she chooses adoption for the baby.
Laws against rape include terrible penalties for proved violations. If the female becomes pregnant she is supported by the entire community and may choose to give the baby up for adoption. She is lauded as a heroine for so doing. Adopting couples don’t have to wait for many, many, years because so many babies are aborted.
Love, Ronda
This friend was writing about her abortion years ago which she justified because of the circumstances but also because she doesn’t think the baby in the womb is a human person, etc. etc. etc.
Since she is not philosophically inclined, I thought of writing her back in a different vein. It would be helpful in some way to one of you readers even though just a particular slant.
Dear______________________,
Instead of writing some strictly logical answer to what you wrote, I want to respond in a different, more literary way.
In healing of memories exercises people write letters to those who died and then write hypothetical letters written back from the person gone from this earth. For example, I once wrote to my father about how my life was wounded by his leaving us when we were 8 years old and then had him write back describing what his life with my mother was like and how he hated leaving us children but felt he had to leave her.
It helps with forgiveness.
So, here I will pretend I am you doing a healing of memories with the baby you aborted:
Baby now grown up in eternity: My mother, I wanted to be your baby and live on earth with you. Why did you abort me, instead?
(My friend’s hypothetical answer): You would have to understand where I was in my life. At that time sex between teen boys and girls on dates was very common, expected actually.
Baby: Didn’t you know that sex often leads to babies? Didn’t you learn that in High School biology?
(Friend) Of course, but just the same when we were drinking or doing drugs on dates that wasn’t on our minds. Since this is so common, that’s why I think education in contraception is so needed for young people.
Baby: According to some medical experts, contraceptives flush out already formed embryos if they don’t succeed first in keeping the sperm and egg separate.
(Friend) : I don’t believe that is true, but even if it is, I thought then, and think now that babies should be born to women who are eager to have them.
Baby: If your mother had been less than eager to have you, would you have rather not been born?
(Friend): I don’t know. I just know that I wasn’t ready and I am glad of many things I did since then I couldn’t have done if I had delivered you and taken care of you instead.
Baby: You never thought about adoption?
(Friend): I love babies. I couldn’t have seen you and given you away.
Baby: I forgive you because I understand better and the God I know here in heaven is a God of mercy. I look forward to someday seeing you here with me.
Then, I add this:
2018 Possible scenario:
We live in a loosely knit Christian community. Our teens meet at parties chaperoned by adults. They dance, and have fun, and flirt a little but they are never allowed to be alone together in places where sexual intercourse is possible. Males are taught that they need to control their strong sex drives and wait for marriage. Marriages are much earlier, with the young couples living with their parents while continuing schooling and working part-time. The babies that come are nurtured by the entire extended family and the community. The children, of usually many children families, learn to help with babies at an early age.
Or, if they don’t want to be married until later they offer the sacrifice of not having sex until they are ready for marriage. God’s grace help them with this struggle.
If a young woman becomes pregnant before marriage but doesn’t feel ready for motherhood, she chooses adoption for the baby.
Laws against rape include terrible penalties for proved violations. If the female becomes pregnant she is supported by the entire community and may choose to give the baby up for adoption. She is lauded as a heroine for so doing. Adopting couples don’t have to wait for many, many, years because so many babies are aborted.
Love, Ronda
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