Heartbreak

As I am sure every reader of this blog is experiencing great heaviness of heart over many crises in the Church.
There are wonderful articles about how to handle our grief in a way that will lead to holiness vs. despair, discouragement and rage.  I especially got a lot out of Ralph Martin’s piece and that of the Bishop of Madison, Wisconsin and Cardinal Burke’s response.  I follow especially those who speak on Raymond Arroyo’s weekly World Over shows on EWTN.
I don’t think I can do better, but I thought I should put up here some key moments in my long life as a Catholic since the year 1959 that pertain in one way or the other to various crises in the Church, not mentioning names of persons or institutions.
A friend who was a Catholic social worker and had many dealings with priests, talking about a group I worked with, remarked:
“They don’t like women.”
Later I realized this was a euphemism for a same-sex attraction orientation.
In a place where I was teaching ethics and would sometimes convince a college student to avoid pre-marital sex, one of the priests said: “She’s just a lay person. What does she know. It’s okay if you love each other.” The same priest was so surprised that 2 months later the student was planning an abortion!

Years later, a priest who later became a Bishop told some seminarians “Never dissent from Church teaching!  Just teach conscience in such a way that the laity realize that they have a way out.”
A priest high up in the administration of a diocese was running a boys’ club where adult same-sex attraction men could bring their favorite youngsters.
I was teaching a book by Joseph Nicolosi entitled Reparative Therapy for Homosexuals. This psycho-therapist specialized in long term healing of causes of homosexual behavior and was able to bring his clients into a bi-sexual orientation with chastity on the same-sex side but also marriage and children.
When this same man blew the whistle on certain bishops and their ways with seminarians, I was no longer allowed to teach the course where the Nicolosi book was in the syllabus.
In another circumstance I noticed over familiarity among certain seminarians. Eventually the situation was investigated and proof was given of wrongful behavior and they were dismissed.

My heart breaks for priests who no longer like to go out in public places wearing clerics because people come right over to them and call them pedophiles.
My heart breaks for parents of victims of abuse and for the victims themselves who felt silenced by the Church; especially for those who have left the Church.
My heart breaks for those accused of abuse falsely who have been removed from their ministries during long investigations.
My heart breaks also, though, for priests and bishops who felt called to their high vocation and yielded to the temptations of sin, and, perhaps, cover their shame with bravado.
My heart breaks for priests who are afraid, for fear of reprisals, to speak out about their concerns about the teachings of the highest member and other members of the Church’s priesthood.

I believe that Jesus wants us to suffer with Him about all of this.
I believe that Jesus wants us to repent of all our own sins and to pray and do penance for all those involved in these heart-breaking situations. ​