I happened to be reading the biography of a wonderful French missionary Archbishop of Kentucky, Flaget, who died around 1840 at age 87. He wrote just before his death this sterling sentence:
"I forget everything: could I but forget myself I would be a perfect man."
Ah the witty French.
I always try to pray to talk more softly, but I forget. Since I don't hear too well, I don't hear, either, that my voice is too loud. But it annoys lots of people that loudness. I got an insight into it in prayer today. Do I talk too loud and too vehemently because I am compensating for being a little, short person, and also a woman with, therefore seemingly less clout than taller men? If the shoe fits, any reader.....! I know I love a soft woman's voice and, myself, find louder women's voices jangling.
But just a little incident, such as a faculty meeting where the Vice President of Academics is not present but is on the speaker phone, is enough to rattle my nerves. I realize how much I get clues to what others are thinking underlying what they are saying, from facial expressions or other body language. Without those signals I easily interpret anything negative said in words on a phone with the most dismal theories about the speaker's intentions! Sigh! So much do such things bother me that I begged that Vice President to give us a workshop face to face on campus for older faculty on adjusting to tech communication. He said he would. I will let you know any insights and healings I get from it!
Meanwhile, of course, the healing for insecurity is always trust in God's Providence.